I've always wanted to be in the know, and I really was.
I knew everything about everyone, and that, combined with a
drama queen attitude, led to some baadd siuations. I never used my knowledge to
hurt anyone intentionally; I would just share the information I knew with other
people. I wanted to be the one who always had something to say. I wanted to get
a rise out of people, I wanted a heated conversation, I wanted to discuss
someone else's life instead of my own. Excuses really; and who knows why
exactly I told what I knew. There were many reasons, regardless of who it hurt,
how it came back around or if it was even true.
This was a while ago, I've since learned the difficult pain
of being the subject of intense drama and gossip, which ruined my
reputation and severed many friendly ties in my life. It took a downfall for me
to learn to shut my mouth. It is still difficult, and to me, I feel that
if I'm not introducing new information into the conversation or heightening our
experience to some intense level, then things are just boring, or I am
just boring. However, I've been learning that the truth is never boring and
even more so that people are never boring if you pay real attention to
them and certainly nothing is ever boring with God.
As we've been talking about divine community, something
important to me began to jump out. Not only should we be humble and honest in a
divine community, but we need to control our tongues. The tongue is the most
destructive member in our body. James 3:3-6 says, "When we put bits
into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole
animal. Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are
driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the
pilot wants to go. Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it
makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small
spark."
In other words, our tongue steers the horse and our tongue
steers the ship. Relative to its size, it has incredible guiding power. Our tongues
tell the world where our body is going.
Our tongues were meant to praise our Lord (James 3:9), to
edify the body and to strengthen our divine community. Instead, they lead us
astray, they cause us to stumble and for some reason, they are the hardest
things to control. James 3:8 says, "No human being can tame the
tongue."
In this manner, God has given those in positions of power an
incredible responsibility, the responsibility to take what they've learned from
others and guard it with their heart, just as they would their own secrets and
concerns. The interesting thing is that we've all been given places of power in
other people's lives, as friends and as divine community members; it is not
just those at the metaphorical top that need to guard their hearts, but
everyone to whom people have entrusted information. It is a big responsibility,
and fortunately God is there to lead and guide with his tongue as well.
In the end, I ask myself 3 questions before I share
anything:
Is it true?
Should it be told?
Should I be the one to tell it?
If I can't answer "yes" to all three, then I just
keep my big mouth shut!
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